Abhinivesha

It should be noted that in the last post ("Work It!!"), though I gave some examples of fear playing out in my life, the subtle fear that arises in meditation is more a primordial fear - perhaps the root of all these other fears in my life.

In the Yogic system, beyond the litany of basic ignorances, (attachment, aversion, etc, etc...), abhinivesha is considered the ultimate ignorance - and one that arises even in great sages and enlightened masters. It's often translated as either "clinging to life," or "fear of death." This is a healthy and understandable fear that all of us carry. And it plays itself out in myriad of subtle ways in our life - especially the less we're conscious of it. Heck, our whole materialistic/consumer society is based on this one primordial fear, one could argue...

So while I could (probably over and over again) address the basic fears as they play out in my life - of survival, money, approval... - this experience in meditation offers me a visceral awareness of the subtle root of all fear. Suddenly I feel I'm not actually in control of my life, and am brought face to face with the unknowable and unknown. I stand on the brink of annihilation and I can choose to surrender to its sweetness, or waste my time fighting the very fire that is burning away my hopeless clinging to life.

I'll choose annihilation anytime...

...
As always, I must credit Richard Freeman for his eloquent introduction and teaching of these principles...